


"How well would you sleep knowing I failed you?"

by Marybunnie



Series: My Whumptober fics (2020) :D [7]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Broken Hearts, Exhaustion, Gen, Hermit Obi-Wan Kenobi, Obi-Wan Kenobi Needs a Hug, Poor Obi-Wan Kenobi, Post-Order 66 (Star Wars), Post-Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith, Sad Obi-Wan Kenobi, Sleep Deprivation, Survivor Guilt, Whump, Whumptober 2020, mourning loved ones, nahGKLHCSHG I can't believe I tagged that lmao :'), no beta we die like the younglings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-21
Updated: 2020-10-21
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:00:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27137668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marybunnie/pseuds/Marybunnie
Summary: “How well would you sleep knowing I failed you?”“Not very well I imagine. Luckily, that isn’t true and never will be.”Obi-wan thinks about this conversation a lot in his solitude in Tatooine.
Relationships: Obi-Wan & Sadness, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker
Series: My Whumptober fics (2020) :D [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1963336
Comments: 7
Kudos: 34
Collections: Whumptober 2020





	"How well would you sleep knowing I failed you?"

**Author's Note:**

> I think about this conversation a lot. Can't wait for the Kenobi series to show us first hand exactly how miserable he is :')

Anakin had once asked him.

“How well would you sleep knowing I failed you?”

And he had responded naively, so surely _, so blindly._

“Not very well I imagine. Luckily, that isn’t true and never will be.”

Well Obi-Wan was wrong on two accounts.

He didn’t sleep at all now and Anakin had failed him.

Or rather, he had failed Anakin.

The boy he trained was long gone. He had been consumed by the Sith Darth Vader.

Its broke Obi-wan’s heart into a million pieces. It felt like just yesterday he had seen the security holos where his apprentice was seen killing fellow Jedi and the younglings. The very younglings their padawan had saved when she was kidnapped and hunted as game.

Looking back on it now, Obi-Wan felt like he had always known that his padawan was falling into the darkness. He had just hoped that it would not have happened so fast and so dreadfully. He had always been too attached.

Too attached to his master, to his padawan, to his wife.

Obi-Wan sighed deeply as he got up from his little bed on his cave in Tatooine.

His body and bones ached from exhaustion. Apparently you needed to sleep and let your body recuperate so it wouldn’t hurt like this.

But how could Obi-wan sleep when it was all his fault?

Yes, he was the one who caused all this.

He failed Anakin. He caused his boy to be pushed towards Palpatine. He caused Anakin to fall.

Order 66 happened because he wasn’t there for Anakin when he truly needed him.

He lost his family, the Jedi, Ahsoka, Padme…everything and everyone he ever cared for.

Why couldn’t it have been himself who had died? Why did the Force only let him survive? Why did the Force let all of those good people die and why did it let _a failure like him_ survive?

He didn’t deserve life nor did he want it.

He selfishly just wanted to be with his brethren once more.

But…he had to protect Luke. The new hope. The only hope.

But Obi-wan did not feel hopeful when he sees Luke.

He just feels tired and alone.

Obi-Wan goes back into his bed and closes his eyes.

Trying to sleep but never getting any.

**Author's Note:**

> Anyway feel free to scream at me on [my tumblr](https://marybunnie.tumblr.com/) about star wars, anime, this fic or the weather :P


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